It’s easy to forget but the only thing you have control over in this world is your mind. With everything else, there’s not a lot you can do. While that might make you feel powerless you can always choose how to feel about something.

It’s easier said than done. I find myself worrying about things I can’t possibly fix. I really have to work at calming myself down and thankfully I have people who I can turn to. Your worries are never silly and once they’re out in the open you’ll feel better. Equally, in writing them down you also lighten the load.

The Stoic metaphor of the dog tied to a cart is about resisting fate. The dog has to follow the cart, it has no choice. It can fight against the motion but it faces a losing battle. In life it’s the same for many situations we find ourselves in, you might not like it, but you just have to accept. That’s fate for you.

Victor Frankl was a Holocaust survivor who wrote the incredible Man’s Search for Meaning. The Nazis had taken everything from him. They murdered his wife, his father, mother and brother. But what they could never take from him was his freedom to choose his attitude. It helped him survive the horrors of the concentration camps.

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

Victor Frankl

The following is clearly nothing like what Frankl experienced and in itself having to stay at home is clearly fine in comparison. However, I felt pretty bitter before the second lockdown. I made the mistake in thinking the worst was over. We’d managed a great holiday in Suffolk. I could do the things that made me happy, meeting friends in the pub, exercising outdoors with others. I was also planning on seeing my Dad, in Spain, finally.

When the announcement was made I felt devastated for my local pub, which hadn’t put a foot wrong in terms of keeping customers safe. The same for friends who would be out of work again. Thankfully the kids would still be going to school and for the sake of their mental health this was positive news. The same for my wife, a teacher, who after feeling scared about the full return to school (she was there during lockdown #1); she now appreciates her position more than ever.

Which leaves me. Still at home. Not seeing anyone. I can get through a whole day without talking to anyone, apart from Jarvis, my dog. He’s a good listener. I’m missing family and friends, the pub, group exercise, travelling outside my town. But unlike last time, I’ve accepted there’s nothing I can do and I have to go along with it. I don’t like it but I shall instead focus on the things I can do.  

I went for a walk with a friend on Monday. We bought a coffee and chatted, keeping in line with the rules, for about 45 minutes. I felt happy. He did too. The simple things are perhaps what we’ll appreciate more than ever following the crisis.

Keep your chin up. x